"And then my stomach said 'too much information'"

Declan, describing our dinner: "I tried a few bites of the soup, which tasted ok at first, but then tasted gross. So I ate a beef roll, and then my stomach said 'too much information' and I had to stop and wait until I decided what was making me queasy."

Earlier today we ran into a New Zealand couple we've bumped into a few times in Vietnam (we're on basically the same tourist path from Dalat to Na Trang to Hoi An), and they said they'd had a fabulous meal ("the best curry we've ever eaten") at a restaurant called The Secret Garden. A little pricey, they said, but only by local standards, and a truly amazing meal in a gorgeous setting.

How could we resist?

And it's true, the setting was gorgeous. Getting to it was part of the fun, as it involved walking down a very narrow alley way between two rows of houses, into a part of the block we would never have guessed existed. Inside the gate to the restaurant was an elegant garden, with fish pond, white cloth covered tables, and lanterns. The menu featured vietnamese food, with an upmarket flair.

But...the Star Fruit Soup (the "really gross" one) had none of the promised star fruit (nor any of the promised pineapple), just a bland broth with an aftertaste of latrine. When we complained (after several of the other dishes proved to be equally disappointing), they took the bowl back to the kitchen, stuck some pineapple into it, fluffed up the chunkies, and brought it back to the table with the admonition that "star fruit not in season".

The grilled eggplant tasted good, but Richard and I realized upon simultaneous mouthfuls that the shrimp on top were not cooked. The seafood curry was also bland, and included precisely two shrimps and one small piece of squid. There were more tomato chunks than seafood. Lest one think that shrimp are expensive ingredients to be served sparingly, yesterday we had delicious ban xeo (crepe-like savory pancakes) with half a dozen shrimp each for only $2. The beef rolls were ok, but very chewy and rather gamey. The spring rolls, which Richard ordered in his pursuit of the best, had a delicate exterior, described as "fresh rice pasta", but a gritty, dry internal texture reminiscent of hard boiled egg yolk. I'm still not sure how you can get that texture from tofu, carrots, tree ear, lettuce and herbs.

All in all, the meal was pretty bad. But, in good news, earlier in the day we had discovered a great bakery. So we got the check (quibbled over being charged for water that had never been served), and headed off to sweet paradise. Two scoops of ice cream for Declan (cinnamon and chocolate chip), passion fruit sorbet for Richard, lemon tart for me, and chocolate truffle cake for Aidan ("wow, that was just like eating a softball size truffle. I might be sick later but what a way to go").